Whether you're discussing a promotion with your boss

 

Whether you're discussing a promotion with your boss, a vacation with your ex-partner, or a seller or buyer in an online auction, there are some laws or regulations that will help you resolve your dispute. 

Rule 1. Focus on the goal. Don't let your emotions distract you 

It's important to put your emotions aside before trying to do anything. Emotions like anger can make you lose control. We've all seen someone wheezing and start twirling their fingers like they're about to have a heart attack. Sometimes, this person gets so angry that they become negative. You must go through this step if you want to succeed. If you are angry, you should focus on what you hope to achieve and tell yourself that nothing will get in the way of that goal. It doesn't really matter if you like the other side or not. Some parties are rude, rude and offensive. Try to move past these insults so you can focus on resolving the conflict. Others may be trying to upset you, so don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they got you. If you focus on the goal of the negotiation, it doesn't matter if you like or respect others. 

Rule 2. Look ahead, not behind you 

The past is called for a reason. If a group is too attached to the past, it can be destructive. In the case of divorce, one person may be so intent on writing down everything that her husband has done wrong that the wife does not even think about the goal of the conversation other than to blame her husband. You need to find a way to get back to the present and solve the current custody or visitation problem. Ask the other person what they need now to resolve the conflict. 

Rule 3. You don't have to prepare for a contract

What are the three words we want to hear more, even more than "I love you"? We love to hear those magic words: "You said." For some people, that's harder to say than "I love you." And if you say "you're right," that's even better. When someone says: "It's values ​​that matter" or "It's not money, it's values!" », I know that this negotiation is difficult. It is because the organization made a decision that it is more important to be a martyr than to correct the issue. When a person thinks about the state of the situation, he always puts emotions in his feelings. If you cannot overcome these feelings, it is unlikely that the conflict will be resolved. Being right can be an exciting feeling, but it has no place in a conversation. If others just want to do the right thing, there's a good chance the situation won't be resolved. 

Rule 4. Know what you want and what others want

It may seem obvious to know what you want, but many parties don't know what they want. They are so angry that they don't even think about how to solve the problem. If they don't know what they want, how can they get it? They may want to keep returning to the situations that led to the conversation. Depending on the complexity of the situation, you need to have a detailed plan of what you want. In addition to knowing what you want, you need to know what you are willing to give up to get what you want. In general, you can get what you want if you are willing to pay the price. Don't start a negotiation without knowing what to expect. 

Rule 5. Prepare and do your research

Once you have an idea of ​​what you want, you need to do your research and preparation. It can be as simple as writing out your argument on a piece of paper or as complex as doing research to determine the cost of asking for a raise. Either way, you need to be prepared, otherwise you can make a deal or a deal that you will later regret. You must know the reason for your request and have a good plan of debt, including future debt. There is nothing more embarrassing than giving a presentation and having someone question the accuracy of your number and having the entire presentation fail because the data is confusing or, even worse, incorrect. If you are not fully prepared, consider delaying the start of the conversation. If you go into this with little or no information and try to improve, you will regret it later. You can never be too prepared. Even if you don't use everything you prepared, it doesn't matter. It is important to get as much information and research as possible if you need it.